Your prayers are telling of your frustration.
“Lord, How can I flow in such anointing and yet fall so short of who I should be? Why can I pray so successfully for others while precious little seems to work for me?”
But I can hear you thoughts. “ Truth is, I probably failed one too many times. Truth is, I am probably an ‘interim servant’. He will use me for others but I am not worth cleaning up again or forgiving again or loving again. As soon as someone comes along who is better than I am, holier, softer, stronger, cleaner, He will most certainly cast me aside and I will get what I truly deserve.
“Can there be another way to account for such silence from heaven?”
“Yes, there is another way.” Your self-condemning thoughts are mercifully interrupted by the Word of the Lord.
“The anointing of the Holy Place is for others, The Presence beyond your humanity is for you.”
“Could you say that again, Lord.?”
"The anointing that flows through the candlesticks of the Holy Place brings light, warmth and healing for those who are passing through its corridors. It displays the reality of what lies just beyond the veil of our own humanity in His Manifest Presence.
“In the same way, My light, warmth and healing flows through you to those in need. God’s love through you points to a higher place, a greater reality. It points to a priesthood reserved for those who are willing to see beyond the humanity of those who minister in part, and into My Presence. Folks who cannot see beyond your human frailty can neither see beyond their own. They cannot be merciful because they have not understood their own need for mercy. They remain prisoners of their own flesh and will be forever trapped in the Holy Place, just short of My glory. Folks who cannot ask forgiveness for themselves can never forgive another. It is a human paradox. When one is unwilling to see the fleshy nature within himself, all he can see is the flesh of another. Grace and mercy are blinded to him. In fact, it is impossible to refrain from being judgmental until you have truthfully and honestly judged yourself. That is why it is best to love, and leaving the judging to Me.
“Your personal wholeness comes from the Throne of mercy and the pulsating Presence of My love that rests upon the Throne, the Mercy Seat, within the Most Holy Place. Why do you think I sit on the Mercy Seat? Why do you think the Mercy Seat is on the Ark of the Covenant? The Ark contains the evidence of My faithfulness to every generation of humanity since it was built.
Come to Me, to the power of my Presence, and I will make your enemies a footstool for your feet. For wholeness does not come with the multitudes of those for whom you give so much. It does not flow out of the power of your anointing. Wholeness comes when you trust Me enough to enter My Presence covered with the Blood, until the power of my love transforms you.
Your anointing is for others, My Manifest Presence is for you.